A DAY IN THE LIFE OF AN INNERVISIONS EMPLOYEE

Episode VIII

„So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.“
F. S. Fitzgerald

Over here in Germany the clever government, fighting the economic crisis like every other nation on this planet, came up with an elaborate concept to save the industry that manufactures what every human cannot have enough of: cars !

It’s called Abwrackpraemie, the closest translation would be wrecking bonus. The concept goes as follows:

You own an old car and are considering to buy a new one soon? (Who isn’t buying something as affordable as a car every second year !) Good, because if you will buy a new car right now instead of somewhen in the near future, you will get a bonus of up to EUR 2.500,- if you will wreck your old car and go for a shiny new one. And please be so kind for all of our sake to purchase at least a Porsche.

But you have to wreck the old car. If anybody with brain cells now thinks that concept is perfect for an economically healthy grey market on which those allegedly destroyed cars or their parts are being re-sold: congratulations. You have been officially proven to be smarter than our government.

As you know, we’re always looking for new and interesting distribution channels and as we also know what sampling is, we have, …let’s say, sampled this idea. If you let us have your old vinyl record collection, which we promise we will not re-sell, then we will give you a brand new, glittering, shrinkwrapped CD for free ! Isn’t that polite and overly cooperative of us ? Exactly! So do we think.

Another striking idea is to go green (I’m refering to ecological policy now). Did you realize that food that is as organic as the label on the outside package impressively and correctly states, can be sold for 20% more ? Now, if you tell us how to manufacture „green“ vinyl (vinyl, that is ecologically correct), we will make you vice president, sample your idea and trademark it before you can count to three. Annoyingly ingenious, don’t you think ?

We are eagerly awaiting your scientifically profound essays in written format. And hurry up, if you please, I’m sure the German government is already plotting new, amazingly efficient, highly bureaucratic strategies to save not only our national, but the global economy.

Stay tuned for more stories about the days in the life of an Innervisions employee.